What is Duhism? And who is Bob Tzu?

Posted by Bob Tzu on Jan 1, 2009 in Bob Tzu, Duhism

Bob Tzu is the long-lost American cousin of the Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu.

Lao Tzu taught Taoism. Bob Tzu teaches Duhism (pronounced “duh-ism”… not “due-ism”, or “do-ism”, or “Ludmila Bogdenskaya”).

Says Bob, “I taught my cousin everything he knows, then I promptly forgot it. What’s left is Duhism.”

Duhism is a faux-losophy of Bob’s Impractical Wisdumb. Follow it at your own risk. The practice of Duhism is said to guarantee a rebirth in Newark, New Jersey.

While Lao Tzu died about 2,500 years ago, Bob lives with his wife, Bobbie Sue Tzu, his brother, Billy-Bob Tzu, and his dog, Petting Tzu.

And Bob urges you to remember, “If you benefit from my teachings in any way, you clearly misunderstood me.”

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A Life-Changing Gift for you

Get Bob Tzu’s most recent e-book, The Duh of Success. It’s absolutely free and has a 100% money back guarantee.

Read all the comments about this revolutionary new program and get your copy here: http://duhism.com/success

Enjoy the profounditudenessity of Duhism!

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11 Comments

He's Spartacus
Oct 10, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Sold!

Do you have any Duhism centres where I can be brainwashed into disowning my family and forking over my life savings?


 
Bob Tzu
Oct 10, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Duhism exists outside of time and space, so, no, there are no centers.

However, I’m happy to send you a Paypal invoice for your life savings (Bobbie Sue Tzu says that you can keep your family… she has enough to deal with having Billy-Bob Tzu around).


 
He's Spartacus
Oct 10, 2009 at 5:06 pm

You misunderstand me, Bob.

I mean I intend to devote my life to becoming a devotee and sod the family.

I now know they never really understood me, the swine.


 
He's Spartacus
Oct 10, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Oh, and consider yourself blogrolled.

May I call you Master?


 
Bob Tzu
Oct 10, 2009 at 6:42 pm

In addition to “Bob,” I usually respond to “Hey, you!” and I claim all mail addressed to “occupant.”

Blogrolled? Hmmm… I like cinnamon rolls and rock & roll, so I’m sure I like blogroll, too. Thanks.

Did you get the invoice yet?

And, did I understand you correctly: you were raised by pigs?


 
He's Spartacus
Oct 11, 2009 at 5:29 am

Actually I was raised, like Romulus and Remus, by a she wolf, at least until I was six-and-a-half.

Then, one day, the pigs came and they huffed, and they puffed, and they blew her house down, after which they hog tied me, spirited me away to their sty and brought me up as their own.

I am scarred for life by the sudden change in my diet from raw elk, caribou and mutton to week old vegetable peelings and occasional scrapings from discarded Fray Bentos cans.


 
Bob Tzu
Oct 11, 2009 at 9:37 am

Add a beer to that and you’ve described Billy-Bob Tzu’s diet. Hmmm…


 
He's Spartacus
Oct 11, 2009 at 11:22 am

How interesting!

You are fully conversant with my problem then. I’m liking this Duhism thing more and more!

Tell you what, and this would be the clincher for me….

It’s long-held ambition of mine to be holed up in a log cabin in Oregon, wearing a tinfoil hat, and fighting off the ATF and FBI. Any chance of that happening sometime in the near future?

If so, do you have enough vegetable peelings and can scrapings to see us through the siege?

By the way, I’ve made a counter proposal to your invoice over at HS. I’m sure you’ll find it a reasonable offer.


 
Bob Tzu
Oct 11, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Never give up on your dreams! (until you wake up… because you can’t really fly, you know). I’ll send you some tin foil (what’s your hat size?).

There are always enough vegetable peelings. I live in a very environmentally aware town… you can pick up peelings in big black containers outside many houses (just pick out the dirt and the worms).


 
He's Spartacus
Oct 11, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Done. I’m in.

I look forward to a long and ultimately fruitless dialogue as I continue my towards Duh Nirvana, assuming there is such a thing.


 
He's Spartacus
Oct 11, 2009 at 4:04 pm

I’m a 7½.


 

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