August 14, 2010
- Let me axe you somethin'
The poet Rainer Maria Rilke said that answers are less important than good questions.
Oh, really?
July 18, 2010
- Now I'm in a box
Pythagoras says "a fool is known by his speech, and a wise man by his silence."
Pythagoras never met a mime.
July 1, 2010
- Ain't that a fact
If it ain't broke, you're not using it enough.
June 22, 2010
- Lights… camera… no action!
My cousin, Lao Tzu, preaches "non-action," but that takes way too much effort.
May 12, 2010
- I'm listening…
I always try to listen to my heart. But my stomach is SO much more convincing.
April 13, 2010
- Mirror, mirror on the wall… holy crap!
Do not think of anniversaries as reminders that you are getting older.
That's what mirrors are for.
April 12, 2010
- Well, there goes the neighborhood
Do not compare yourself to others.
Especially others who are smarter, richer, thinner, and better looking than you.
March 27, 2010
- I'm doing as hard as I can
There is no "try," there is only "do." So, do try.
March 26, 2010
- I was blind but now… oh, wait… nope, still blind
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man can't convince his buddies that his girlfriend is the hot one.
February 24, 2010
- What doesn't kill you?
My cousin Sunny Tzu used to say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," until the barbell fell on his head.
February 22, 2010
- Well that's just perfect
When you can see all beings as divine and perfect, then it's time to cut back on your medication.
February 16, 2010
- Beneficiary with benefits
A Hindu yogi told me, "I have never been born so I can never die."
So, I made myself the beneficiary on his life insurance.
Thanks for the Lexus, dude-ji!
January 3, 2010
- Veracity, Verbosity, and Volume
Eloquence, conviction, and intensity only make a statement convincing, not true.
Except this one which, I assure you, indubitably, is a fact!
December 8, 2009
- I just flew in from Cleveland, and gee…
Am I a man who dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he's a man?
All I know is my feet hurt and my wings are tired.
December 6, 2009
- Well, Snow White…
If the shoe fits, make sure you get the matching belt.
November 27, 2009
- Oh, this is a thorny thing
Do not complain of being stung by the thorn of the rose. Nobody wants to hear about your little prick.
November 24, 2009
- Unless I slip on your driveway, that is
There are no accidents in the universe so, no, I'm not paying for that dented fender.
November 21, 2009
- Shhhhh…
The real Truth cannot be spoken. Why? Don't ask me, I can't talk about it.
October 25, 2009
- I had to make this post
I can't resist using discount coupons. Proving there is no buy-one-get-one-free will.
October 21, 2009
- He had jalapeno strength
My cousin Lao Tzu said "Silence is the source of strength" So true. After we ate Mexican, he was silent but deadly.




