August 28, 2010
- Say what?
Read this out loud:
Don't believe everything you hear.
July 9, 2010
- The 5% solution
Even if you do a half-assed job at giving 110% you're better than average.
June 28, 2010
- I'd like to make toast to that
When life isn't going as you thought it should, remember that even scrambled eggs aren't what they're cracked up to be.
June 17, 2010
- I like short stories
Why can't anyone who says "… to make a long story short…" actually make a long story short?
June 11, 2010
- No, really, I couldn't, could I?
Whenever you say "I couldn't care less," that means you're not not-trying hard enough.
June 9, 2010
- I'm positive!
Speaking negatively is a horrible, evil and really, really bad thing to do.
May 25, 2010
- It's truly true
The closer I get to knowing who I truly am, the less I like who I am, truly.
May 8, 2010
- What kind of fool am I?
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice and, why, yes, I do own a Snuggie, Ginsu Knives and Tae-Bo DVDs. How'd you know?
April 7, 2010
- Okay, for the last time. 2+2 does NOT = 5
Never argue with the ignorant. They can't tell when you've won.
March 31, 2010
- From nothing, all things happen
Two Taoists don't walk into bar… yet a joke happens anyway.
March 16, 2010
- And I don't mean the Beatles song
Instead of 1 hour, I accidentally set my clocks ahead 25 hours. Now it still feels like yesterday.
December 24, 2009
- Oh, did I miss your house again?
Tonight is the night when children in my town of Boulder, Colorado leave out soy milk and gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, organic carob chip cookies… and tomorrow will, once again, wonder why Santa didn't leave them anything under their free-range, hormone-free, non-irradiated, Solstice tree in the feng-shui-ed corner.
December 16, 2009
- What if I'm beside myself?
Bob Tzu says, Never write about yourself in the third person.
December 7, 2009
- I could use a mind eraser
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase your good deeds.
But one photo getting out of a limo without your underwear, well…
December 1, 2009
- Tell me who, who, who, who are you
I ran into an old friend on the street who exclaimed "Bob Tzu, is that really you?"
Hmmm.
How would I know if it wasn't?
October 20, 2009
- Let me tell you something young man
Advice is always free. And worth every penny.
September 16, 2009
- You didn't hear it from me
Speak not about what is seen by all, but what is not seen by any. This will get you a free room with nice padded wallpaper
September 4, 2009
- Shine on!
Just as a gem needs friction for its true beauty to shine, a man needs friction to… uh… shine his beauty.
August 27, 2009
- Ah, what a ride
Life is like riding a ten-speed bike; we have gears we never use and, after a while, it's a pain in the butt
July 10, 2009
- Yes, Yogi Berra, I'll take it
I'm at place in life where I have two choices that seem both different AND the same…Yes, I've come to a spork in the road.




