December 24, 2009
- Oh, did I miss your house again?
Tonight is the night when children in my town of Boulder, Colorado leave out soy milk and gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, organic carob chip cookies… and tomorrow will, once again, wonder why Santa didn't leave them anything under their free-range, hormone-free, non-irradiated, Solstice tree in the feng-shui-ed corner.
December 16, 2009
- What if I'm beside myself?
Bob Tzu says, Never write about yourself in the third person.
December 7, 2009
- I could use a mind eraser
Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase your good deeds.
But one photo getting out of a limo without your underwear, well…
December 1, 2009
- Tell me who, who, who, who are you
I ran into an old friend on the street who exclaimed "Bob Tzu, is that really you?"
Hmmm.
How would I know if it wasn't?
October 20, 2009
- Let me tell you something young man
Advice is always free. And worth every penny.
September 16, 2009
- You didn't hear it from me
Speak not about what is seen by all, but what is not seen by any. This will get you a free room with nice padded wallpaper
September 4, 2009
- Shine on!
Just as a gem needs friction for its true beauty to shine, a man needs friction to… uh… shine his beauty.
August 27, 2009
- Ah, what a ride
Life is like riding a ten-speed bike; we have gears we never use and, after a while, it's a pain in the butt
July 10, 2009
- Yes, Yogi Berra, I'll take it
I'm at place in life where I have two choices that seem both different AND the same…Yes, I've come to a spork in the road.
June 24, 2009
- Or is it "newage", which rhymes with…
The New Age — it's all light and love until someone loses a third eye.
June 14, 2009
- Will this be on the final?
If life is about learning lessons, I recommend going to a community life school, where the lessons are much cheaper, but still pretty good.
June 9, 2009
- I can't find it on the map
The traveler sees what is there to see, while the tourist worries about somewhere to pee.
Here's a Duhism Master discussing the perfect product for the tourist:
June 4, 2009
- They've hired a psychic to find the psychic
The dwarf psychic I go to is running from the law. That's right, my small medium is at large.
May 26, 2009
- Don't go changing… oh, do!
Don't try changing the people around you.
Unless those people are babies.
May 24, 2009
- doog ot wonk
The opposite of bravery is not cowardice, it's yrevarb.
May 11, 2009
- Ah, spring is in the air
In the big city, it's easy to get caught in the hustle & bustle. Take a break.
Sometimes you just need to stop and smell the homeless.
April 27, 2009
- I'm positively negative
It is bad to harbor any negative thoughts… especially this one.
April 25, 2009
- I'll take the mantra behind door number 1
What things/events/etc. cause you to spontaneously utter one of the mantras of Duhism:
duuuuuuhhhhhmmmmmm
April 24, 2009
- I slept with the director to get this part
All the world's a stage, and I keep forgetting my lines and missing my cues.




