August 12, 2010
- Sour grapes
I'm opening a whinery. We'll sell a Cabernet that's goes perfectly with bitching and moaning.
March 23, 2010
- What's the company slogan going to be?
I'm thinking about starting a fast-food restaurant chain where high-functioning autistics serve donkey meat patties.
I'll call it Ass Burgers.
March 15, 2010
- Weebles wobble
Better to give a waiter a big tip than to knock him all the way to the ground.
January 11, 2010
- But wait, there's more!
Special Sale! The truth that will set you free… only $9.95 + s/h.
Today only — Twice the freedom! Buy 2 truths, get one free. Order now!
November 9, 2009
- I'm clicking my heels together
Don't wish for things to be easier so you can handle them, wish instead for a full-time personal assistant.
October 16, 2009
- Chew on that
The first in a series of Duhism business productivity tools.
September 13, 2009
- The naivier the better
The best motivation is not a strong Why, but a naive WTF?
July 26, 2009
- I've got mine on speed dial
We call a man happy who handles the difficulties of life without calling his lawyer.
June 29, 2009
- Or try one of those big ball things
The secret to balancing work and home life?
Two words: Unemployed. Single.
June 18, 2009
- The best defense is a good offensive letter
Angry? Write a letter to your enemy. But don't mail it. Deliver it in person and see if you learned anything in that self-defense class.
May 27, 2009
- I need a loan for a Sunday NY Times
Little things add up. (…)
May 12, 2009
- Try reaching for the stars
Never stop trying to stretch yourself.
Tall people earn more money.
May 6, 2009
- Have your people call my people
Outsource your responsibility.
April 26, 2009
- Call it an unintentional gift
Release all expectations for future gain…
since, trust me, even though you called it a loan, you'll never see that cash again.
March 23, 2009
- Honest schmonest
Honesty is the most valuable of human virtues.
Learn to fake it, and you've got it made.




