March 6, 2010

• Yes, this will be on the test

  Duhism teaches: Do not be patronizing… which means talking down to people as if they're dumb, duh.

February 21, 2010

• Going up, down, round and round

  The Sufi may have their Whirling Dervishes… but that's nothing compared to what Duhism Masters do:

February 8, 2010

• Our newest poster girl

  People have asked what will happen if they follow the teachings of Duhism. (…)

November 19, 2009

• Who ordered the dysfunctional family?

  In the restaurant of life, don't try to split the reality check.

• My bags are packed and I'm ready to go

  Duhism teaches: Never go hiking on a psychopath.

November 17, 2009

• I wanted to meet MICKEY Rooney

  Judge all your actions based on whether they could make you the lead story on "60 Minutes."

November 15, 2009

• Ready… and… ACTION!

  It's better to teach not with words, but with action. And the best action for teaching is speaking.

November 8, 2009

• Especially you

  I see all people as equals. All beings as one. That's why I don't like anybody.

November 2, 2009

• I rest my case, your honor.

  Only a moron tries to convince stupid people that they're idiots.

October 23, 2009

• Status Update: I heard a tree fall, I think

  Duhism asks:
  If you post a status update, but nobody is online to read it, did anything actually happen in your life?

October 17, 2009

• It's all done with mirrors

  My cousin Lao Tzu's Taoism has feng shui.
  Duhism has "feng shwing!"
  Can you guess what it is?

October 12, 2009

• Now THIS could be fun

  Live your life as an example for others of what not to do.

September 30, 2009

• Or semper ubi sub ubi

  Aspire to the Duhism motto for living:
  Never live by a motto.

September 25, 2009

• I just eat these up

  A po' boy who, when sandwiched in a sub hit by a torpedo, won't let it roll… he is a hero.

September 24, 2009

• The future of this practice is unclear

  For Advanced Duhism Students Only!
  Try Duhism tantric sex called Magic 8-Ball:
  Give your partner a little shake. Then roll them over. Then they say, "Try again later."

September 3, 2009

• Is that Cary Grant?

  Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and enough cash to move everything in the 2nd category.

August 23, 2009

• I think they're giving thanks

  A Duhism priest's sermon to the flock. They just gobble up the teachings.

August 21, 2009

• Play it backwards and you'll hear "Bob Tzu is dead"

  Nothing has ever caught the profounditudenessity of Duhism better.

August 13, 2009

• And if your name is Hazel…

  Success and happiness are your essence, like acorns waiting for nurturing to become mighty oaks. That's right, in essence, you're nuts.

July 29, 2009

• Wouldn't you?

  Every day I take a moment to be grateful for my thanklessness.