Bob Tzu is the long-lost American cousin of the Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu.
Lao Tzu taught Taoism. Bob Tzu teaches Duhism (pronounced "duh-ism"… not "due-ism", or "do-ism", or "Ludmila Bogdenskaya").
Says Bob, "I taught my cousin everything he knows, then I promptly forgot it. What's left is Duhism."
Duhism is a faux-losophy of Bob's Impractical Wisdumb. Follow it at your own risk. The practice of Duhism is said to guarantee a rebirth in Newark, New Jersey.
While Lao Tzu died about 2,500 years ago, Bob lives with his wife, Bobbie Sue Tzu, his brother, Billy-Bob Tzu, and his dog, Petting Tzu.
And Bob urges you to remember, "If you benefit from my teachings in any way, you clearly misunderstood me."
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I'm experiencing Manifrustration - the act of spending hours using visualization, affirmations, and vision boards to attract what I want into my life without getting any results.
The real Bob Tzu cannot be known. I'm serious, I don't know who this guy is! - Lao Tzu, founder of The Tao
After meeting Bob Tzu I wondered if I was wrong that the smartest, strongest, and most fit are the ones that survive. - Charles Darwing
My message is to love thy brother as thyself. Bob's message makes me want to smack him upside the head. - Geez S.
Bob Tzu's understandment of foreign policy are legiondary. He was my true inspirationist.
- G W Busch
Get me some salt and wrap me in a loin cloth. Bob Tzu is the shizzle, ma nizzle! - Myhat Magandi
One should listen carefully to the words of Bob Tzu... and do NOT do anything he says, I beg of you! - Allen Watz
To paraphrase my 3 and 1/2 Nobel Truths, "All of Bob is suffering. Attachment to Bob is the cause of suffering. I'm not sure there's a way out of the suffering that comes with Bob." - Sid Hartha, aka The Booda
After God spoke to me through the burning bush, I ran into Bob Tzu playing with a Zippo lighter. I don't trust that guy. - Mo Zis
Allah is the one true God and I am his messenger... and Allah has asked me to run over Bob Tzu with a camel. - Moe Hammed
I want to thank Bob for his career, parenting, and underwear consulting. -Brittainy Speers
Words cannot define my relationship with Bob Tzu. The restraining order I had to get comes pretty close, though. -Steevie Mitchall, translator of famous foreign books
Bob Tzu has forever tarnished the name Tzu. And he's pretty much ruined "Bob," too. - Sunny Tzu, author "The Art History of War"
My hair looks like this as a result of the experience of encountering Bob, which is remarkably like gravity... it sucks. - Alfred Einstein
As the reincarnation of the Boddhisatva of Compassion, I pray that Bob comes to a painful and messy demise. - Tension Gyatso, the 13.5th Dalai Lama
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