August 25, 2010

• Happiness. Page 37.

  Anyone who says money can't buy happiness hasn't seen the new Sky Mall catalog.

August 12, 2010

• What's the 2nd best?

  The single best thing you can do for your mental health is not look for one all-encompassing answer to your problems.

July 6, 2010

• It was my fault officer

  Rear-ended my bliss (I was following it too closely).

June 25, 2010

• I'm not sure that's my size

  Treat every setback like a gift. And hope you can find the receipt so you can return it.

June 4, 2010

• What a pain. What? A pain?

  Whoever said "no pain, no gain" never enjoyed an extra dessert after every meal and then stepped on the scale.

May 23, 2010

• I must be dreaming

  Always try to live your dreams.
  Today, I'm jumping off the roof to see if, at the last moment, I start flying.

May 1, 2010

• Are you happy, or did you just…

  Smile and the world smiles with you. Pass gas on the other hand…

April 9, 2010

• Be the peas you're looking for

  I had to stop seeking inner peace.
  It was stressing me out.

April 6, 2010

• Gimme just a little more…

  I'm a simple person. I don't need a lot to be happy.
  Just more than my friends and neighbors.

January 28, 2010

• Not a warm puppy?

  Happiness is a butterfly. Sit quietly and without expectation and it will alight upon your shoulder, and poo upon your shirt.

January 26, 2010

• I'm going solo

  Don't make demands on others for love. Take love into your own hands.

December 4, 2009

• And getting money is the best way to become rich

  A Duhism sponsored study reveals: Revenge is, by far, the best revenge.

October 5, 2009

• I choose chocolate happiness

  Happiness is a choice. So is dessert. You do the math.

September 22, 2009

• Yes, I know how to spell.

  I try to keep an attitude of gratitude, but on Mondays the best I can do is a sentiment of resentiment.

September 21, 2009

• Broke my foot on the end table of life

  If you always try to look on the bright side, you'll be blinded and then keep bumping into reality.

September 1, 2009

• Happily happy happiness

  True happiness comes from becoming selfless, altruistic, compassionate and hearing that your ex- is miserable since dumping you.

August 18, 2009

• Now with twice the nowness

  I'm in a hurry to be live in the moment, so I'm just taking things 2 days at a time.

August 2, 2009

• Sticks and stones and… ouch. That hurts.

  High self-esteem will protect you from the slings and arrows of people calling you narcissistic and deluded

July 23, 2009

• I'm burning (calories) mad

  It takes more energy to frown than to smile.
  So if you stay upset for another week and you'll finally be able to fit into that bathing suit.

July 6, 2009

• The spleen has an opinion too

  The heart does not choose who it loves.
  The wallet, on the other hand, has quite a bit to say in the matter.