The present moment ain’t what it used to be.
Everything always comes to you at the perfect time: when you’re in the bathroom with your pants around your ankles.
It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. That’s why I don’t go out there. I stay in here where it’s a man-eat-chocolate-cake world.
Since many of my students are unfamiliar with the earliest teachings of Duhism, let me share this classic:
This is life. Life is art. Art is beauty. Beauty is skin deep. A pimple is skin deep. Therefore… This is Zit.
If you think life is the school of the Universe, I’d suggest you have a party BEFORE graduation.
Life had no meaning… until I bought that dictionary.