August 30, 2010

August 29, 2010

  • The real Secret

    Success comes from ignoring aphorisms about how to be successful.

August 27, 2010

  • The reviews are in… meh

    Life is but a stage. The men and women merely players. And, lately, the audiences are a bunch of a-holes!

August 26, 2010

August 24, 2010

August 9, 2010

July 26, 2010

July 23, 2010

  • I see best people

    I see only the best in people, especially the incompetent losers who really have no hope.

June 20, 2010

  • It's in the genes

    Today I'm reminded that 50% of my DNA came from my father.
    I'm just glad it's not 1/2, or I might have inherited his math skills.

March 12, 2010

  • Your honor, I rest my case

    Do not judge others by their appearance or possessions but, instead, by how they look and what they've got.

January 17, 2010

  • Every day and every way…

    Affirmation: Today I will protect myself from imaginary enemies by repeating  saccharine statements that misrepresent reality.

January 4, 2010

  • Just a quick question, your honor

    If you want to achieve greatness, remember: It's better to ask forgiveness than permission.
    And it's best to have your attorney present when you ask.

December 21, 2009

  • Seriously serious, I think

    You are not your thinking. And you are not your body.
    That said, you should seriously think about showering that body.

October 26, 2009

October 24, 2009

June 19, 2009

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