July 8, 2010
- Who wants to be a millionaire?
If you're healthy, you are truly wealthy. Because you make a fortune selling a kidney!
May 28, 2010
- Like, uh, really, dude
Since getting that medical marijuana prescription, I've really gotten in touch with my Higher Self.
May 15, 2010
- I'm exhausted
The mind needs exercise, just like the body. That's why I'm thinking about jogging.
April 1, 2010
- Do you have that in an infinite?
Every all-you-can-eat buffet brings me one step closer to my infinite
potential.
March 5, 2010
- It IS a Miracle!
The miracle is inside of you.
Luckily, most insurance policies will cover having it removed.
February 12, 2010
- I can't see what you're saying
Write this affirmation on a piece of paper: "Age is just a number." Then read it every day… until you need reading glasses.
October 8, 2009
- The workout makes me sweet
I'm using an exercise video and *gaining* weight!
Maybe it's the video: Cinnamon Buns of Steel.
September 27, 2009
- Shake it up, then dilute and repeat
I'm not happy with my homeopath, but he assures me he's doing the least that he can.
September 25, 2009
- Training for the Duhism Olympics
Duhism is more than a faux-losophy… it also requires extensive physical training… and a bit of elementary physics.
September 10, 2009
- Sez'a you, sesame
Have faith the size of a mustard seed. Then relish when the results ketchup and get you out of that pickle at the Mayo clinic.
August 1, 2009
- That's a die-et
Bob Tzu is on the "I could get hit by a bus and die at any moment" diet… so, yes, please pass the hot fudge sauce.
June 25, 2009
- I haven't met my de-duh-ctible
[caption id="attachment_786" align="alignnone" width="348" caption="Duhism's Opthamologist"][/caption]
June 17, 2009
- Don't be random about this
Do not allow a day to pass without performing an act of kindness.
For today's act, seriously, try a new deodorant.
June 12, 2009
- I'll have a misteak
Vegetarians die healthier.
May 30, 2009
- Can you hear me now?
Learn to listen to your body and it will tell you everything you need to know to make it fatter.
May 15, 2009
- Southern fried Duh
From my brother, Billy Bob Tzu:
If it don't taste better fried, it ain't food.
May 13, 2009
- I need some mental fiber
A clear mind is your true essence.
The same cannot be said about your colon.
May 9, 2009
- And chocolate chips don't help, btw
The results are in.
Kimchi + peanut butter + egg salad DOES NOT make a good sandwich.
Trust me on this one.
May 7, 2009
- I'm a hater hater
I have a severe gluten intolerance intolerance. Just have a bagel already!
May 1, 2009
- No tofu was harmed by this post
Studies show that eating beef has a severe impact on your health.
And even more severe for the cow.




