August 24, 2010

• Oh, I see

  My Zen Buddhist friend won't see a therapist. He's having a non-identity crisis.

August 7, 2010

• Wherever he goes…

  I'm seeing a Jungian past-life therapist to treat the shadow of my former self.

June 16, 2010

• I'm the decider

  Instead of asking "Why did this happen to me?" take responsibility.
  Ask, "Who can I blame for this?"

June 8, 2010

• Did I miss something?

  I just read a study saying that catharsis doesn't work.
  I'm so upset by this that I have to go beat a pillow until I feel better.

May 29, 2010

• Seriously, I'm almost 100% positive

  You must have total confidence in your beliefs… I think.

May 21, 2010

• I'm not afraid of no… oh…

  Only by confronting your fears will you find out that things CAN be worse that you ever imagined.

May 10, 2010

• Good better best

  It's best not to lie.
  But I'm willing to settle for second best.

May 3, 2010

• Who you calling short?

  It's long going to change your shortcomings.

April 17, 2010

• Thanks Mom and Dad

  If you have problems taking responsibility, don't despair. It's not your fault.

February 28, 2010

• Lost and found

  They should put on cartons of soy milk pictures of people who are trying to find themselves.

February 13, 2010

• The shadow knows

  I just had a session with my Jungian therapist and saw my shadow.
  So, 6 more weeks of Duhism.

January 8, 2010

• It's always me, me, me, me, me

  I'd listen to my Inner Child more if it didn't speak in that whiny little kid voice.

• What's the warranty on this life?

  It doesn't matter if you have a breakthrough or a breakdown, as long as something breaks.

October 30, 2009

• How about the Cubs?

  The three most unnecessary emotions are guilt, worry, and rooting for the Yankees.

August 28, 2009

• General contractor needed for self-improvement project

  I'm doing some self-improvement. And, when I'm done, I'm going to flip my self for a tidy profit.

August 4, 2009

• You're a persona-fication of a fictional person

  Do not let your faults and deficiencies define you. Let the false persona you create to cover them up do that instead.

July 31, 2009

• And cooler, too

  Trying to improve yourself wastes the time you could use to steal the identity of someone who is already much better.

July 26, 2009

• Just looking for THE ONE

  Integrity is shown when the sign says "Free cookies… take ONE"

July 19, 2009

• Can you hold this for me?

  When you hold onto anger, the only person you hurt is yourself…and…(drumroll)…Jim Hardwick of Ypsilanti Michigan!

June 20, 2009

• We want to be alone

  I get a bit schizophrenic and overbearing when I go camping. It seems I can be 2 in tents.