August 20, 2010

• It could have been you

  Aren't you amazed that since the beginning of time, every moment has led, cause-and-effect, step-by-step, to Justin Bieber?

August 18, 2010

• Now Read This

  Reading this proves you're one of the elite, special few, who has been chosen to stay in front of your computer while others go out and do the real work.

August 6, 2010

• Truly

  If spiritual practice will make me more of who you truly are… then who are you now?

August 1, 2010

• Memmm… ories

  I don't believe in reincarnation. But I used to, in a past life.

July 30, 2010

• Another Duhism Master… oh, oh, OH!

  I'm proud to bring in this Duhsim Master for a special class I'm sure you'll like:

July 28, 2010

• Now where did I put that thing?

  If you can't remember where you left your car in the parking garage, I do not recommend doing astral projection.

July 12, 2010

• Here comes the sun

  No need to fear. Behind every cloud is the sun…which will eventually super-nova and destroy everything you were afraid of.

July 1, 2010

• Spiritual fashion statements

  You are a limitless, vast, and unbounded being. At least, that's how it looks when you wear horizontal stripes.

May 31, 2010

• Why didn't anyone tell me this?

  Being totally accepting of everything sucks!

April 26, 2010

• Other-worldly

  Spirituality has gotten so mundane.

April 24, 2010

• That's not me in those pictures!

  Contrary to the rumors, my relationship with the Divine is purely platonic.

April 8, 2010

• I did it just for the halibut

  This evening I'm making my famous Cajun fish dinner for spiritual seekers going through hard times: Dark Sole of the Night

March 30, 2010

• Now with no artificial aura colors

  If you want to accelerate your spiritual growth, buy my new product that delivers subtle energy from a spray can.
  Chi Whiz.

March 10, 2010

• Truly, I do

  Now that I've become more of who I truly am, I have to wear elastic-waist pants.

March 3, 2010

• Achoo marks the spot

  The mark of true Spiritual Evolution is when one loses all striving for enlightenment but longs, instead, for a good nose hair trimmer.

January 9, 2010

• When 1 does not = 1

  Know that you are equal to all beings.
  Then meet Cindy Crawford at a party and see how fast that theory flies out the window.

November 21, 2009

• I got a snow globe

  I became enlightened, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!

November 8, 2009

• Buddy, can you spare some growth?

  Spiritual growth requires change. Parking downtown requires even more.