July 29, 2010

• Lift me higher

  Only you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps. But anyone can give you a wedgie.

March 11, 2010

• I'm not very attractive

  I'm experiencing Manifrustration - the act of spending hours using visualization, affirmations, and vision boards to attract what I want into my life without getting any results.

February 4, 2010

• Pray to pay

  I'm praying for my success… because that's so much easier than actually doing something.

December 15, 2009

• What a drag!

  Like attracts like.
  Which is why you should go to singles bars in drag.

December 12, 2009

• I'm deliberately deliberating, how liberating

  How can I recreate my life by deliberately choosing my thoughts when I still can't deliberately chose matching socks?

October 27, 2009

• Stay on target. Stay on… where was I?

  Your results depend on what you focus on… plus what 6 billion others are focusing on… plus what Paris Hilton thinks is hot… plus…

October 7, 2009

• The power of (my) intention(al fist)

  A guru once told me, "ANYTHING is possible."
  So I punched him and took his wallet. "How 'bout that. You're right."

September 16, 2009

• Who can I talk to about my dreams?

  To accomplish great things, we must not only plan and act, but also dream, believe, and bribe.

September 6, 2009

• Pardon my twitch

  Raising my vibration lowered my IQ.

August 15, 2009

• I feel my temperature rising

  A burning desire can only be quenched by the fire hose of reality.

July 16, 2009

• Or ice cream, ice cream, ice cream

  What you focus on outside of you becomes what is inside of you.
  Cheesecake. Cheesecake. Cheesecake.

July 4, 2009

• Why is that French Toast oscillating?

  I just used the Law of Attraction to raise my vibration and attract breakfast.
  It worked!
  I vibrated my hand and here's the waitress.

June 15, 2009

• It's better than AIG executive

  You can have everything you want, as long as you give up the limiting belief that "armed robber" would look bad on your resume.

• Really artificial

  Fake it 'til you've faked makin' it.

June 8, 2009

• I can see it… ish

  Visualize visualization working.

May 23, 2009

• Can you hear me now?

  The Universe hears your every wish, and wonders why you can't hear it replying, "Uhhh… no."

• What if I have double vision?

  You are never give a vision of what's possible, without also being given the power to hit the snooze button and forget about it.

May 20, 2009

• Living on a porpoise

  Why have we never heard anyone announce that their "life purpose" is to be a mediocre temp worker doing word processing for a mid-sized law firm?

May 17, 2009

• Don't go changin'

  If reading inspirational sayings doesn't change your life then, seriously, is there ANYTHING that could?

May 12, 2009

• And it smells bad, too

  Why do we think money can make us happy, when all the guys ON the money look so depressed?