As a Duhism Master, I practice celibacy. But no matter how much I practice, I can’t seem to get it right.
Life gave me lemons… but I’m all out of sugar. So, now what?
As a philosopher, for holiday parties I like to bring an enigma wrapped in a paradox wrapped in bacon.
Do not complain of being stung by the thorn of the rose. Nobody wants to hear about your little prick.
On this holiday spent with the family, I’m reminded to be thankful to the creator of mind-numbing alcoholic beverages.
There are no accidents in the universe so, no, I’m not paying for that dented fender.