I AM the Master

The best way to have a good reputation: Master communication, master generosity, and master identity theft.

Tags: good PR agent can help too

Where did I put your glasses?

I told my Bobbie Sue Tzu, “I think your memory is going. I’m worried that you have… uh… you know… what’s it called, that thing where you can’t remember stuff?”

Tags: it'll come to me...

As if!

Instead of reading The Secret, I’m going to act as if I did.

Tags: Or maybe that means I DID read it?

Petting Tzu is a pointer

Remember, when you point a finger in blame, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you.

That’s why I point with my thumb. Then there are 4 fingers pointing at the guy next to me.

Tags: try it and you'll see

There is no try, only ARGH!

Trying to be calm is too trying on my nerves.

Tags: must... try... harder... less

Tony Hsieh from Zappos.com founded Duhism!

On this day when Duhism gained its 100,000th Twitter follower, it’s about time I fessed up and told you who the real founder of Duhism is…

Tony Hsieh.

Yes, the CEO of www.Zappos.com.

Tony didn’t know that he founded Duhism until just recently when I told him.

How did he do it then?

Simple.

I had resisted sharing The Duh with people for years, centuries, a long time. I knew that, in the wrong hands, the profounditudenessity of Duhism could have catastrophic consequences, including a reversing of the Earth’s magnetic field, the loss of the number 5, and endless reruns of Alf.

But Tony wrote an article about how much he loved Twitter and how his inspirational tweets got a lot of response.

I figured if his inspirational writings got attention, then the unspirational writings of Duhism should too.

So, in April 2008, I shared the first teaching of Duhism:

Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single pee stop.

And the rest, as they say (and I wish I knew who THEY were so I could ask them to stop saying it), is history.

Thanks, Tony… now I can’t go out in public without people tugging at my tunic (no, that’s not a euphemism. I actually wear a tunic), the teachings of The Duh have spread to 4.5 continents, and we’ve taken all the money donated by Duhism’s followers and bought Petting Tzu a new collar.

Tags: See you all in Newark!

That’s Master Tzu, not Mister

Self-Confidence comes from doing what you’re afraid to do. Self-Mastery comes from paying someone else to do it for you.

Tags: even better when they do it for free