Courage is not shown by how you perform in battle, but by whether you’ll let your spouse look through your browser history.
My cousin Sunny Tzu advised, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” But that’s because cousin Sunny wasn’t much for bathing.
Given where our dog, Petting Tzu, sticks his nose when he meets someone new, I’m having him apply for a job with the TSA.
Love will take you fearlessly into unimaginable places and inspire unbelievable actions… oh, wait, that’s lust.
Today, I give thanks for so many things, but mostly for pants with elastic waistbands.
I’ve learned that when the Universe closes a door it opens a window… that I was standing in front of, in my underwear.