Posted by Bob Tzu on Apr 23, 2009 in
Duhism Our dog, Petting Tzu, ate one of Duhism’s texts and we can’t read the last part.
Which of these seems like the best statement of The Duh to you?
(Voting is now closed.)
Live every day as if…
- it was your 7,516th to last.: 7% (8)
- you were starting rehab tomorrow.: 15% (17)
- it was the last day you believed that saccharine little self-help messages would actually improve your life, somehow.: 12% (14)
- it was Flag Day!: 6% (7)
- you could actually pretend that you could live every day as if it were your last.: 16% (18)
- you were you1: 5% (6)
- it was going to rain tomorrow1: 4% (5)
- your mother was moving in with you tomorrow1: 3% (3)
- duh! as if!1: 8% (9)
- it was your worst enemy’s last.1: 4% (5)
- you could justify your existence.1: 5% (6)
- it was yesterday.1: 3% (3)
- your death depended on it.1: 3% (3)
- as if it was Monday1: 1% (1)
- you couldn’t remember who you were1: 3% (3)
- you were taking your own life tomorrow.1: 1% (1)
- …Period.1: 1% (1)
- it were today.1: 3% (3)
- The cops couldn’t find you.1: 2% (2)
- you really do have a life.1: 1% (1)
Total Votes : 116
1 = Added by a guest
Tags: thanks Stephen Levine
Posted by Bob Tzu on Apr 22, 2009 in
Relationships The path of Duhism: Practice meditation, introspection, and psychic arts for many years.
Then wonder why you’re still just like your mother.
Tags: genetics, nature vs. nuture
Posted by Bob Tzu on Apr 22, 2009 in
Bob Tzu Someone asked Bob Tzu his age in the Chinese calendar.
Hmmm…
What’s “wood ox” minus “metal tiger”?
(Let’s see, carry the “fire rooster”…)
Tags: chinese calendar, mathematics
Posted by Bob Tzu on Apr 21, 2009 in
Philosophy The path to self-knowledge requires both learning and un-learning.
And it has a $10 cover charge and 2 drink minimum.
Tags: drinking, self-knowledge
Posted by Bob Tzu on Apr 20, 2009 in
Science Duhism teaches that there are 3 kinds of people:
Those who are good at math, and those who aren’t.
Tags: genotyping, math anxiety
Posted by Bob Tzu on Apr 20, 2009 in
Ask Bob Bob Tzu was asked:
Dear Bob,
Why are we here on this planet? What is it all about? Please explain..Awaiting your response..
Liz Le Serviget
Bob Tzu answers:
Liz,
Typically, the question is asked, “What’s it all about, Alfie?” but that was then and this is now and most poeple don’t remember that song, anyway.
To answer a question as profound as yours, I employed a technique I originally taught to the brother of Ghengis Khan, Chuck A. Khan. Namely, before retiring for the evening, place a glass of warm milk under your bed, hang a lemur who died in his sleep above your bed, and then next to your bed place “an on and a with” (something to write on and something to write with).
As you drift off to sleep, or once the Lunesta kicks in, ask yourself the profound question, over and over and over.
When you awaken, check to make sure the milk and the lemur are still where you placed them (if not, the lemur may not have been dead, after all; they’re very slow), and check to see if an answer from your higher-super-cosmic-conscious-astral-energy body has appeared on the “on.”
So, here’s the answer I was given to your question:
Contrapuntal penguin moccasins eat radioactive Gummy Bears. WASHING MACHINE!
I hope this answer brings you to the state of Balance/Schmalance,
Bob Tzu
p.s. The lemur and the milk are optional.
Tags: the meaning of leaf
Posted by Bob Tzu on Apr 19, 2009 in
Art Music in the soul is heard by the universe… and the universe really wishes your soul hadn’t just watched Mama Mia.
Tags: abba, earworms, music
