October 14, 2009

• Tell me who, who, who, who are you-u-u

  Who you are is beyond your body and beyond your mind.
  Understanding you is beyond me.

September 12, 2009

• I knew I was going to say that

  You know the past cannot be changed. But because in 2 days tomorrow will be yesterday, neither can the future.

September 9, 2009

• Who had the carrot cake?

  We are all one, but, yes, separate checks would be easier.

August 30, 2009

• Just laying around lying

  What if the Truth is a lie?

July 24, 2009

• I ate 30 minutes ago…

  You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. Or… GET OUT OF THE WATER!

July 20, 2009

• Abracadabra!

  Life is an illusion. But how did I become the assistant who is squeezed into the box about to be cut in half?

July 17, 2009

• What color are the bus driver's eyes

  We are driving the bus of our own destiny. Of course, we lost the map, we're low on gas, and the restrooms need cleaning…

July 13, 2009

• Take one self from column A…

  The practice of Chinese philosophy can lead you to self-realization. But then, an hour later, you'll want to find yourself again.

July 5, 2009

• My deepest fear is getting my toe stuck in a pool drain

  Our deepest fear isn't that we're inadequate, but that we're powerful beyond measure and, yet, still need help to scratch that spot in the middle of our back.

June 30, 2009

• And they all smell the same

  There are many paths to the top of the landfill.

June 9, 2009

• Fakin' it 'til I'm makin' it

  Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Pretend to be yourself instead.

June 1, 2009

• Oh, that wacky Swiss Army

  It's said that for one who only has a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
  What do things look like if you have a Swiss Army knife?

May 29, 2009

• Is that you?

  You are a totally unique, one-of-a-kind individual, just like everybody else.

May 21, 2009

• May I ride on those coat tails?

  One who learns from his mistakes is wise.
  One who learns from the mistakes of others… probably copied off his neighbor's tests in high school, too.

May 16, 2009

• I think I hear a tree falling

  If spam lands in your inbox, but nobody is there to read it, did anyone buy Viagra?

May 15, 2009

• Probably not this

  My cousin Lao Tzu teaches "action through non-action," raising the life-guiding question, "WWLTND?"
  (What Would Lao Tzu Not Do?)

May 10, 2009

• I vant to be alone

  Solipsism isn't for everyone.

May 9, 2009

• But it smells so familiar

  You can't step in the same dog poo twice.

May 3, 2009

• I think that's &

  Looking for the meaning of life is like looking for the square root of purple.

April 28, 2009

• Hey, and I can breathe again, too

  Only when you let go of who you think yourself to be will you finally discover your true pants size.