August 23, 2009

• I think they're giving thanks

  A Duhism priest's sermon to the flock. They just gobble up the teachings.

August 21, 2009

• Play it backwards and you'll hear "Bob Tzu is dead"

  Nothing has ever caught the profounditudenessity of Duhism better.

August 13, 2009

• And if your name is Hazel…

  Success and happiness are your essence, like acorns waiting for nurturing to become mighty oaks. That's right, in essence, you're nuts.

July 29, 2009

• Wouldn't you?

  Every day I take a moment to be grateful for my thanklessness.

July 21, 2009

• There's something fishy about this

  Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
  Teach that man to fish and he'll wonder, "Why didn't you just give me another fish?"

July 7, 2009

• I'll have 2, please

  Living Duhism means: Going out of your way to use a buy-one-get-one-free coupon at a restaurant you would never otherwise eat at.

July 3, 2009

• My credit card is ready, am I?

  When the student is ready, the teacher appears and sells him the expensive "advanced" training.

June 30, 2009

• Don't try this at, well, anywhere

  Learn the advanced skills of Duhism self-defense, where your opponent is overwhelmed by the urge to make sure you're okay.

June 25, 2009

• Is Duhism taking over the government?

  Seems a bunch of Duhism students and Masters converged in Washington, D.C. recently.
  It could be a plot of some sort… Nah. (…)

June 8, 2009

• Can you put it on my tab?

  Karma is not paying in the future for the mistakes of your past. That's alimony.

June 7, 2009

• All crastination, all the time

  So many Duhism masters, so little time . Just a small sample of the other types of crastination from the Twitter Duhists (if I RT'd you all, Twitter would break!). (…)

• You only need a dollar and a (irrational) dream

  Knowing yourself is inner wealth.
  Better to know tomorrow's lottery numbers.

June 5, 2009

• Duh-mocracy inaction

  Even though Duhism is as endless as the number of Baldwin brothers, not everyone can handle the same amount of Duh. (…)

June 2, 2009

• I do-oo-oops

  A traditional Duhist wedding ceremony:

May 25, 2009

• Not to get to the other side

  Why did the Duhism chicken cross the road?
  (put your answer in the comments)

May 22, 2009

• This is my pet, Peeve

  Duhism teaches:
  Love all beings… except the ones who say "whole nother," "very unique," and "nucular."

May 21, 2009

• The best medicine

  The effects of Duhism can be quite profound.

May 16, 2009

• Another pile o' Duh

  When you truly understand Duhism, this is what life is like.
  WARNING: This is highly contagious.

  (thanks to Duhism Master ricimnotreallyhere for the pointer)
  high

May 15, 2009

• The master is as happy as a pig in…

  The Duhism Master's mind is always awake.
  A pile of Masters:

April 24, 2009

• Petting Tzu is out of the doghouse

  Thanks to  the contributions of Duhism followers, we now know the actual teaching is:
  Live every day as if you could actually pretend that you could live every day as if it were your last. (…)