June 16, 2009
- My grade and the word both start with F
The word failure is not in my vocabulary. Which is why I didn't pass that vocabulary test.
June 9, 2009
- Do I get frequent levitation points?
I just levitated in from Tulsa and, gee, are my arms not tired.
June 6, 2009
- Will you still follow me on Twitter?
I tried being my own best friend, but we have nothing in common.
June 2, 2009
- In a past life, I passed
I believe in reincarnation. May as well; you only live once.
May 31, 2009
- Only my vacuum has attachments
I'm attached to letting go.
May 30, 2009
- Hello? Ms. Cleo? Is that you?
My psychic channel is switching to digital and I can't find a converter box.
May 25, 2009
- For awakening, press 1
The Duhism Master's answering machine message: "Hi, I'm unable to Be Here Now, because I'm not at ommmmmm, so…"
May 18, 2009
- Where did I put me?
Found myself, lost my keys.
May 8, 2009
- No, I don't want fries with that
For breakfast the Master has one "everything" bagel, with nothing on it, and eats the whole thing until there's only a hole.
May 3, 2009
- I have reservations
Salt. Sour. Sweet. Bitter. The Master has no preference.
That's why he was fired from the restaurant.
April 30, 2009
- Insert joke about Uranus here
I don't believe in astrology.
But that's typical for a Libra.
April 28, 2009
- I'll take what's behind door number 3
The doctor said I have one month to live.
I'm very excited!
I picked May, 2156.
April 24, 2009
- I know the earth is spinning, but this is different
The Master of Duhism stands motionless while the entire world moves around him.
The Master had WAY too many sake-tinis last night.
April 22, 2009
- I think I had fire rooster for dinner
Someone asked Bob Tzu his age in the Chinese calendar.
Hmmm…
What's "wood ox" minus "metal tiger"?
(Let's see, carry the "fire rooster"…)
April 15, 2009
- And he'll cry if he wants to…
Bob Tzu is like a dyslexic Zen master; he eats when he's tired and sleeps when he's hungry.
January 1, 2009
- What is Duhism? And who is Bob Tzu?
Bob Tzu is the long-lost American cousin of the Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu.
Lao Tzu taught Taoism. (…)




